Hold On
by Kikaili
Summary: Do you ever wish you could do something differently;change something? Everyone does, especially Ranma. RA R


Disclaimer: Yeah, so what if I don't own it. Doesn't mean I can't pretend to have the entire Ranma cast as my little puppets.

(Author's Note: Since fanfiction is being stupid and won't let me do scene changes with asterisks anymore. Non-language characters. Stupid. I'm dividing my scenes with....hmmm...let's see.....the letter O, yeah that'll work)

One Wish

By: Kikaili

Sleepless nights. That's all I ever have. Her face all I ever see; her presence all I feel. She's always there and it's overwhelming me. I wish I could have one night where I could sleep peacefully, without wondering how things could have turned out differently. How it could have been prevented from happening. Had I caused it? I've asked that question countless times, but no one ever answers. Sometimes I pray for a night that as sleep claims me I'll be able to see her, to hear her voice. I try so hard to hang on, not to let go of any of the memories, but...it's so hard!

Tears slide silently down my face seeping into the pillow under me.

The doctors said that there was nothing that could be done, but I can't accept that. There was nothing I couldn't do for her before, why then when she really needed it couldn't I help? Why was this any different? Those questions plagued my mine then and now. I felt so helpless. Never in my entire life had I felt that weak.

I roll over onto my side a sudden shiver passing through my body. All at once I know I'm not alone anymore. The presence is comforting...soothing as warmth passes through my body.

I sigh contently as I finally drift off, as I don't most nights, taking pleasure in the comfort that surrounds me.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Ranma...?"

All I can see is the darkness around me, but none of it matters when I hear that voice. My eyes search frantically for the owner of it.

'It can't be...it just can't'

I don't want this to be a joke. The thought of it is way too much to bear right now. I start running looking for anything, any sign that I'm not alone in this.

"Ranma...can you hear me?"

The voice breaks through the darkness once again, but I choose not to believe it until I see it for myself.

"Show yourself!"

"Do you have to see me, to know?"

The hurt is so evident and I can't help but feel guilty of my lack of faith in faith in it and myself.

"Please..."

My voice almost, cracking with the simple plea as tears fall unbidden down my face and I wonder how they can feel so real, just as hot as they had then. Falling to my knees I ask once more.

"Please, I'm begging, show yourself."

The unbearable black that surrounded me disappears and I'm standing in a field. The sun is bright and I can feel that I breathe easier despite my anxiousness.

The voice speaks as a form suddenly starts to materialize before me. I pretend not to notice keeping my eyes glues to the ground, way too afraid to see what I knew to be true in my heart.

"Ranma...don't cry. It doesn't suit you."

A hand reaches out and caresses my cheek softly. I continue my steady gaze at the ground almost willing it to give way to reality for some reason unknown to me.

"So you ask me to show myself just so you can stare at the ground? Baka."

Well that one clichés it. No reason trying to deny it any longer. I'm so confused I don't know whether I should be happy or not. I slowly look up at the figure in front of me, directly into deep brown eyes that continue to drown me in their depths.

My heart was beating so fast that I thought for sure it was going to burst, but it didn't. It beat in a manner that I thought I'd never be able to feel again, I took in every part of her being. It's just as I remembered, right down to the eyes I loved more than myself...staring intently back at me. A blush coloring he cheeks slightly.

"Why do you keep staring at everything? First the ground now me, are you feeling alright?"

I feel my face turn bright red and I try my best to relieve the embarrassment the only way I could think of.

"I feel fine. I just can't believe that you can still be this unsexy after all this time!"

That did it. The air starts to grow cold around me and the bright sun that was just there is being replaced by instant storm clouds, but when rain starts to pour down soaking my still male body. It's unbelievable. But then again it just further proves to me the dream state that I must be in and sinks me back again into my depression. I look back down at the enraged wet girl yelling at me.

"Damn it Ranma! Why did you ask to see me then? I asked you if you really wanted to and you sounded sincere when you answered! I should have known. I just...I just thought that maybe-"

She can't finish her statement, too frustrated I guess, not that I can blame her.

"Akane....I'm sorry...sorry for everything. Sorry for the constant insults...sorry for Saffron...and most of all sorry for not being able to save you. You deserved so much better than me...I'm so sorry."

I can't look her in the eyes, let her seem cry again. Once is enough.

"Ranma..." I feel her touch my arm lightly. "Ranma...look at me." I keep my eyes hidden from her and her voice starts to prick with frustration.

"You needed to see me, right?"

I look up only a little, but enough for her to hold me in my stare, my eyes still wet from the lingering tears.

"Did you?" Her voice is stern begging for seriousness. A part of me wants to give her more than that, but I fight it and manage a weak nod instead.

She lets out a breath and the rain clouds overhead start slowly dispersing letting sun rays through gradually.

"Ranma...please no more; no more blaming; torturing yourself over things that were beyond your control to prevent. I've watched you slowly killing yourself with this every time you cry yourself to sleep at night. I'm not there anymore and you'll have to get over that."

My heart nearly stops dead in my chest as her words tear through it, it hurts so much. I have to cover it though, any way I can.

"Fine, be that way! Why don't you just rip out my soul, I won't feel anything then! Isn't that what you want for me to be happy; how?! I have nothing left to live for!"

I come to an abrupt stop as I notice the anger and confusion in her eyes. Then choosing to go the angry route rather than be confused she starts to yell back.

"You selfish bastard, is that what you think?! You honestly believe I don't care?! I would give anything to be there right now, to do everything I wish I could have done, but all I can do is watch! Do you know how hard it is to wish you happiness, happiness without me?! I've always wanted to be the one to make you happy, but I can't anymore. I can't...I...just need you to be happy with or without me...that's all."

She went from screaming to barely above a whisper. Her sniffing back tears that I caused hurt me worse than anything she's said.

I cautiously take a few steps towards her and rap my arms around her. It's not how I expected it to feel though. It feels like a ball of light warming me from the inside out.

"Ranma?"  Her body tenses against mine...

"Please Akane, just let me hold you?"...then relaxes into mine with a soft sigh.

"Okay."

We stand there for a moment basking in each other's warmth before she begins to pull back.

"Ranma I....I ...promise...I'll wait for you. That's all I can do, but until then hold on..."

"Akane...not again...please I can't let you go twice. I don't think I'll be able to take it a second time."

"Ranma...you just have to hang on...do it for me? I have to go now." Her image slowly starts to vanish, becoming more and more transparent by the second.

"No! Akane! You can't leave...I love you too much!" Desperate. That's the only way to describe how I just admitted that so easily. How I'm openly crying in front of her.

She smiles sadly and just before she vanishes completely she manages to break my heart with her last words.

"I love you too, Ranma, hold on..."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

A...Akane...Akane!

I wake up with sweat pouring off my body soaking my sheets. I look everywhere for any possible sign of her, anything. My eyes rest on an object on my dresser. I slowly stand and walk over to the group picture I had given Akane back then, now once again in my possession. There is a small card resting against it reading 'To Ranma'. I shakily take it and open it quickly reading over the clearly written text.

And with this; my one wish granted, there can be no more tears.

'Happy Birthday Ranma, we're all waiting downstairs for you...'

How can life get any better?

'...I even made you breakfast hope you like it!' 

But then again, I suddenly feel like crying.

End

(Author's Note: What has been up with me lately? No funny. I mean, geez, first I wanted to make everyone think it was Akane, than make it someone else, then I wanted it to be a somewhat sappy ending like 'I'll always wait for you' on the card instead. Actually that's exactly what I was gonna write until I thought of this ending in the last 5 minutes. Please, don't kill me though. RLD chap. 8 will be up extremely soon since Finals are over and I get out of school TOMORROW! Yes I'm free! So enjoy. PEACE! I'm out.)


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